The golden rule at any swingers club or swingers party is that everyone there has the right to say NO and without question No Means No at all times. Some couples will have a 'safety word' that they will have agreed upon before hand, this is old hat as all swingers know the golden rule and should abide by it, but so you can be discrete for new visitors it can be a good idea.
Always ask permission following the above rule this one makes sense that before you dive in, you simply ask the person you wish to interact with if this is OK with them first. Just don't take to heart or question any refusal, as this will make the situation awkward for all concerned.
Everyone you meet at any swingers function will at of been in your position, a newbie. Like any regular gathering of people, some are more forward and open to meeting new people and some are more reserved. Most in the scene are used to meeting new people for the first time.
OK You've made it this far what now? well just be yourself, don't try to be something you're not, as it can confuse the situation and other people will pick up on it. When you're ready and feeling comfortable you can start chatting to people or if you're slightly more reserved you can always wait for people to approach you. The most important thing is you feel comfortable and in control of the situation.
No one expects you to stray outside your comfort zone, any limitations you have set yourself you should stick to, for your first experience you might wish to just watch what is taking place before you, until you gain your confidence and feel relaxed enough to participate in anything yourself. No one expects you to do anything you don't feel happy doing. You are in control of yourself at all times.
You will be greeted at the door by the club owners and here you will be charged the relevant entry fee for the day/time/event. You will be asked to hand over any electrical devices such as phones or cameras as none are allowed inside the club premises to ensure yours and everyone else's privacy. You will be issued with a locker key for you to store your belongings securely during your stay at the club. The key is numbered and this is the number that you will use for your drinks tab (which you settle at the bar at the end of your night) and for storing any larger items behind the bar such as coats and jackets.
For your first visit to CCK you will be given a guided tour of the club and shown the facilities available for you to enjoy during your visit, an explanation of the club rules (covered on this site) will also be given. You will get to see the play rooms, equipment and facilities and depending upon the time you arrive other people might already be using these and so this should be considered as you could be faced with naked people already in full swing! but as you've already decided to visit an adult bar this shouldn't shock you lol.
Now it's time to relax and let your fun packed night begin. Having a drink at the bar can ease any nerves or apprehensions you might be experiencing, it will also give you the opportunity to meet and start a conversation with other patrons remember they are all friendly and most are there like you to meet new people.
There are some things you will need to consider before you begin swinging. Is it something you want to experience for real or should it just remain a fantasy? Do you desire having sex with two people at once? Wish to experiment playing with the same gender? Do you want to see your partner play with someone else? Maybe you want to see each other enjoy the pleasures of playing with others?
So you want to make your dreams a reality, first consider this, is the dream worth ruining your relationship? Even the strongest relationships have failed after experiencing any form of sex involving other people, it will alter your relationship for ever. This isn’t a decision to be made lightly, once taken it can never be reversed. Swinging can destroy your already happy relationship but it can also ind the added excitement and way of life you’ve been searching for. The decision, as always, must be taken by all parties concerned after having had time to understand all consequences and being honest with each other on all possible outcomes. Now you've had the warnings, here are a few tips for entering the exciting world of swinging.
Why do it? People begin swinging for many reasons. Understanding why you want to start is critical for its success, you may want to experience new and adventurous pleasures with your partner. Add some spice to a predictable part of your relationship. Fulfill some existing fantasies. Whatever reason you have, one thing it won't solve is repair a failing relationship. For swinging to be successful you must have trust, communication and honesty.How To Start Swinging
You've looked at the positives and negatives and understood the reasons for doing it, you’re now looking to start your journey. So, what do you do now?
In a world where you can find anything you desire on-line, sex and the many forms it offers are as simple nowadays as ordering take away food. Just like ordering food you must first decide what exactly it is that you desire or perhaps you're more open to having a buffet lol. Here are just a few options to gaining access to other like-minded people:
Each has its own merits and of course pitfalls. Some prefer one way over another, perhaps using some or even all of the above.
As we are a club for adventurous couples we will concentrate on only that. There are some major pitfalls of meeting swingers through media be it digital or print these can be:
A question on how to get your partner into swinging is a question that has been asked many times. First, you need to take your time and discuss with your partner if swinging is something that you both wish to experience. Understanding the potential pitfalls and outcomes for you both is essential and only achieved by good honest communivation between you both. If you've reached the stage where you are both looking at a site similar to this one then you are already well on your way. If you are looking at the question of how do I begin a conversation with my partner? then there are many resources available via the internet that you need to read first.
Understand that often the first time you raise the subject you will open a plethorah of possible negative outcomes, none greater than your partner believing that for some reason you're unhappy with them or that they're not fullfilling some vital role in your relationship. It is essential that you emphasize the reason is one of adding excitement and novelty to your relationship, not that you're trying to gain excitement by replacing them. The scenario of wanting to experience them being the object of your fantasy rather than yourself is better as it shows that they are the reason you want to experiment and not wanting to replace them with someone else.
Take your time and pick the right moment. If you have problems being honest with your partner and feel that they wouldn't understand your desire to look at swinging then chances are that you will never have the type of relationship that could survive a sexual encounter involving other people, best you keep it as a fantasy. If you have no problems being honest with them then choosing the time to first raise the subject is critical. Make sure you have plenty of time and space to fully enter the first discusion, make it special, at a time when they are already thinking of sex and in an aroused state. "Morning darling fancy fucking someone new , I do" probably wouldn't get the reaction you're hoping for lol. Be prepared and think of your partners initial reaction, if it is one of discust then sorry but you'll need to find a new hobby. If they think you're joking then play along and don't get serious about it, keep the discusion light hearted and drop it quickly, it's been raised and at a later time you can always come back to it. Plant the seed is often the short answer to this question, let the idea grow and don't be put off by having to wait, sometimes years.
What you should avoid:
Even after you have raised the idea and you will have loads of fun planning the various ways you can turn it from fantasy to reality, always enforce your feelings for your partner. Discuss diferrent scenarios, this is how you can find out what things they might wish to experiment with. Take your time to ensure that the first experience is positive, this might take a lot of work on your part, the right place, the right time and importantly the right other person.
Decide which is the best way for you to both experiment without feeling pressured. This is where visiting CCK can be a great first step. Being with like-minded people that are open to behaving in a sexual maner in a safe and controled environment often allows you to both understand the emotions and feelings that you will experience. You don't have to participate until you're ready. As you are already in a place where sexual activities are taking place many of the barriers are already down, suggest you both just start with having sex with each other only. Many visitors only ever have sex with their own partners and simply rely on the excitement of having sex in a safe public environment is sufficient for them. Of course you can dive in head first and experience everything the world of swinging has to offer, only you and your partner will now which is the best way forward.
Make sure that whatever way you choose to begin you ensure that it is done at a pace that is comfortable and without pressure, a negative experience will happen at some stage but being prepared as a strong couple you can quickly eliminate these to minor irritations. Keep on talking and re-enforcing your love and desire for each other.
Q: Do we rip off our clothes as soon as we enter the club?
A: Only if you want to.
Q: Someone asks to join in do we have to?
A: No, if you don't want them a polite no thanks is all that's needed.
Q: Can I change my mind if I begin to feel uncomfortable?
A: Yes, you control your own experiences at all times.
Q: I want to join in with someone, what do I do?
A: Simply approach them and respectfully request to join in.
Q: If I get drunk will that help?
A: No, certainly not, while a little can take the edge off your nerves at the begining it certainly won't help you if you get drunk.
Q: Will I be garaunteed to get sex?
A: No, only if you include yourself
Q: Can I buy sex from someone there?
A: No, CCK isn't a brothel
Q: Is there a dress code?
A: Yes, always dress to impress, you'll have better results.
Q: I'm a single guy can I attend?
A: Only on a designated night or special event.
Q: Is there an age restriction?
A: Yes, but it is for minimum age to gain entry to the club.
Q: Can I take pictures?
A: No, at no times are any recording devices allowed into the club.
Q: What if I see someone I know?
A: Say hi, you're both there for the same reasons, neither of you will gain anything by it becoming known to those outside of the club.